Fly Confident
Posted By Phil on August 12, 2006
Good news, blog fans! It is official, I am now back from my hiatus. I’ve had a great summer, full of stories, some of which you already know. However, I’m thrilled to be back. *Cue loud boisterous music*
Since my return, I have not resumed blogging right away for the simple reason that I’m in the midst of trying to get my life back in order. So much to do, and so little time. So I’ve slowly but surely been adapting back to my normal life.
As I’ve done so, I’ve discovered something new about myself. With all I’ve had to be doing as of late, I’ve found that not only am I learning a great deal, I’m also enjoying myself. I’ve relaxed a great deal, and as I’ve learned to roll with the punches, a new sense of confidence has overtaken me.
This sense of confidence can be deadly, though, as I discovered the other day. I had an early meeting for my new job, one that went over policy, regulations, benefits, etc. The meeting lasted for about two hours. At its conclusion, I was more than ready to flee, but had to stop to use the restroom on the way out.
Upon reaching said destination, I found, to my horror, that my fly had been unzipped the entire time. How could this be?!! All had gone so well, and everything had been taken care of. It was a slap in the face. My mind raced, trying to figure out who had noticed. I wondered if anyone had, and if they had, would they have had the courtesy to inform me (somehow I doubt it).
That sense of confidence I had felt had long since passed, and I felt like the biggest goober on the planet. Fortunately, rational thought eventually returned. How often do people stare at random strangers’ crotches? Especially when, at 8:30 in the morning, all anyone can think about is food or coffee.
Plus, thanks to a dizzying bout of heat rash from which I’d been recovering, I had unprofessionally (but very healthily) chosen not to tuck in my shirt. Go me.
So when you’re feeling confident in life, remember that you can still royally screw up, without actually knowing it. To avoid this, I’d recommend, at the very least, to remember to zip up your fly.
Awesome advice Phil, and welcome back, congrats on the new job.
that fly open isnt a huge screw up unless you were going commando in which case you would understand why everyone was so flirty
great to have you back phil
oh i have been there believe me….welcome back
Welcome back! And zip up your fly, will ya?
LOLOL….Try running a cash register in a busy mall with your little skirt tucked into your panties and your bare ass visible to all oncoming mall traffic. (true story). Though I was only 18ish at the time and my ass looked a lot better then. Stay away from skirts and all will be fine. Welcome back, I missed you.
Goober or not, we still love ya! Glad your back amongst us!
It’s doubtful anyone noticed. They were to busy being wowed by your personality.
Well at least you were sitting down for the meeting, and not presenting, LOL. I am sure if anyone noticed, they would have made the universal “zip it” sign.
And welcome back!
Welcome back! Keep the shirt untucked for a while, at least until you get back into the swing of things…
Welcome back, Phil.
Remember on Cheers, the Tortelli men always leave their flies down at weddings as a sign of fertility.
Or to help with a bout of heat rash.
How often do people stare at random strangers’ crotches? Don’t ask… Wise choice on not tucking in your shirt…
LOL, I have never heard a young person use the term goober. But very apt, Phil.
lol this is the story of my life.
Welcome back phil!
i’m sure we’ve all had these moments in life…and if they were staring you may have made their day :) welcome back!
Thanks for the reminder to not get over confident.
Great advice, I will keep that in mind.
welcome home……. The page looks COOL! GREAT job. And havnet we all been feelin our oats and been slapped in to our places? Hugs
I’m glad to see you back. No comment on the zipper.
I’ld have noticed. But would have probably thought you were coming on to me……
WELCOME BACK! REMEBER XYZ!
Welcome back…..you’ve been missed!
I am a crotch examiner. I admit it. I would have noticed your fly gone ary. Lucky for you, I wasn’t there. Husband always makes fun of me because I continuously comment on crotches of various origins. I don’t know why I do this. I think I need help. Phil, can you help me?
Phil, oh Phil. How I’ve missed you. I almost peed reading this. When I thought I’d composed myself, I came to comment and saw what Marcia wrote above. That set me off all over again. I have to admit…I examine too.
Welcome back, Philio. You’ve been missed. There is nothing more humbling than to be caught with your fly open. Sometimes that’s life just telling us that nothing really matters, those small things anyway. Just keep on being yourself and enjoying your life’s journey(s).
ps: do check your fly now!
Welcome back! Glad you had a great summer!!
Welcome back Phil!
wow – and no “the car is out of the barn” jokes?
did the shirt cover the fly? was it wide open or did it stay together. important questions we’re suppose to assume the answer for?
I’ll assume it was getting-back-to-blogging rusty-ness (rustiness?)
So glad to see you back, Phil as I have missed you so much! My problem is that when I do seean open fly..I will tell even complete stranges about it…I know..its one of my glitches but I hate for someone not to know….;) ~Karen~ (MCH)