My summer hiatus is in full swing, and so as no doubt you can imagine, I’m having a great time. The entry you’re about to read was actually inspired by time spent at the airport about a week ago. I just didn’t have a chance (until now) to write it as a blog entry. I hope you enjoy.
I write this blog entry utterly convinced that airports are designed specifically for blog material. I’m serious. Take the following examples, and then try to tell me I’m wrong:
- The line to go through security. What used to be short enough to get crowded/congested/backed up has been lengthened considerably at Albuquerque’s airport. Despite the minimal number of people traveling at 6:45 in the morning, all the ropes were in place, and thus we travelers had to drag our sleep-deprived asses all the way through the damn line.
- Metal detectors are no longer the only barrier things to walk through in security. Technology has become so advanced that now ou must also walk through an “air puffer.” That’s right. Step into the box, place your feet as indicated, and get blasted with puffs of air. Apparently, it’s a way to pat you down without the use of a human being, and there are two side effects:
1. Bad/Annoying: Jets of air are puffed into your eyes. It’s slightly less than pleasant.
2. Good/Shocking: Should you happen to be wearing somewhat baggy shorts, as I was, you might wind up feeling violated.
- Upon entering the restroom before going to my gate, I walked in on someone who clearly was not expecting anyone to walk in at that exact moment. As it turns out, he was standing in front of the mirror and flexing his “guns.” If I was to judge by the look on his face before and after my arrival on the scene, I’d say he has a pretty vivid imagination.
This is but a sampling of what I experienced during my morning stint at the airport. Indeed, it is quite the adventure.
{ 24 comments }
LMAO!! YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! But some of us like that violated feeling!! : ) MISS YOU MAN!!!
Oh those puffs of air in the shorts…Sounds like an interesting start to the vacation Phil
I find the airport entertaining. I don’t travel a lot anymore, but like you said there is always something entertaining happening if you’re looking for it.
Did you ask him how he got those things through security, because they’re clearly dangerous weapons?
Hope you’re having a great time!
I’ve always found airports and Malls to be great material for comedians and philosophers…. there’s alot to be said about a group of idiots in either setting.
Hope you are having fun in your summer escapades! See you when it rains, or the fall comes!
o goodness that is too funny airports make me laugh sometimes.
My trip a couple of years ago to Washington D.C. showed how bad airports can truly be all in ther name of security. I have not yet had the “pleasure” of the air puffers, but they sound very interesting. Glad to hear your summer is going well.
LOL, guns?>as in?LOL
Albuquerque?You in albu?I am sure you enjoying the nearby mountains, not to mention drunken druggies and other frills strongly associated with the place.LOL
I can’t say that I have walked in on someone flexing their muscles in an airport bathroom, but I had someone walk into a closed and locked stall on me. It seems that the cleaning crew was a little over enthusiastic… fortunately there was no puffing of air involved.
Phil, you’re right on. The airport is a great place to collect blog material. In fact, I’ve blogged on airport stuff several times. Keep ‘em coming.
I’m airportophobic. Well that’s not really true; I just don’t like them. That’s the worst part about traveling for me.
Enjoy your travels Phil… keep up the pace!
HHAHAHA, PHIL! Flexing his guns- what a hoot. I have yet to experience the air-puff thing. I will be rediscovering the latest in airport technology in the coming weeks so I will report back if I see anything weird. I wish I had a tiny laptop so I can blog as I go. I haven’t written in pen in so long- I’m afraid I forgot how to write.
Air Puffs…Yet another name for a … Blow Job? Nah! Enjoy Your Hiatus, and if you get a cahnce Post Some more AIRPORT SIGHTINGS! Cheers!!! Gary
Oh, Phil! You got me with the air puffs! I know I hate those puffs of air they shoot into your eyes when you get an eye exam…yet what made me chuckle, of course, was the part about feeling violated if you’re wearing baggy shorts! Imagine if one had on a skirt; you’d have a Marilyn Monroe moment!
I haven’t experienced the puffs of air yet. I did remember to get the jewelry off this time around…La Guardia was an experience. Seemed like they would have had more security than I saw but I am sure they are their.
I hope you at least got a phone number after that blast of air up your shorts! LOL I have not run into that yet……but then again, I haven’t been to an airport since last Sept. What the heck are they doing with the AIR anyway???
Well sounds interestin I like many of these people think the airport is very entertaining. Have a wonderful trip!
Sounds like an interesting time and that you are having more fun in the other adventures as you travel. I hope you have a great time and will let us know what is happening with the usual Phil spin.
Tell me why don’t I have these kind of experiences at the airport? Although when I flew to Orlando a few weeks ago, I did get a real body search by a chick feeling up my boobs…quite disconcerting. WHY ME? Do I LOOK like a terrorist?
“Should you happen to be wearing somewhat baggy shorts, as I was, you might wind up feeling violated.” Where do I need to go? :)
That is too funny. I haven’t even flown since they started all the security stuff. I get antsy to begin with, that would just drive me nuts. I love to watch all the weird people though. The bathroom guy is a good one. I guess maybe they are watching me and thinking the same thing. Ha!
For some reason my yahoo home page hasn’t shown any new stuff from you for like a month. So I have been missing Phil GOLD just like this for like a month. BASTARDS!
I think I spent half of my life on airports…UUGGGHHH!!!
Hope you’r having a great summer, apart from sucking airports!Take care and drop a line so we know you’r OK.
Hugs,
Lila
I lost another bag last week, I dont mean its was delayed, I mean it has gone to bag heaven or wherever unrecoverable bags wind up. It doesnt happen often but it does happen, I got stuck in Caracas a couple years ago with the clothes I was wearing and nothing else. Continental never found the bag. This one was kinda my fault I suppose. I was going on a domestic flight from Luanda, Angola to a town called Soyo. It was my first time there and I wasnt familiar with the protocol of the local airline. You check your bag at the counter and get a claim, but then when you go out to board the plane you have to LOAD YOUR OWN BAG. I wasnt aware of this and just boarded the plane and got comfortable. Everything was ok till I arrived and one of my bags didnt. I am still not sure how one did get there. Anyways its lost and gone forever. As I was leaving Angola for johannesburg the same rule applied. I checked my bag, but as we left the gate to walk out to the plane (a 747) we had to pick our bags up off the tarmac and load them on the cart to be taken to the plane. It makes no sense to me. I checkled mine all the way through to Sydney and believe me I was sweating it out at the carousel there waiting to see if it showed up. Luckily it did. I found out one interesting thing during this little adventure, two pair of socks in Luanda Angola cost 48 dollars…..
LOL…I’m catching up.
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